Nicole and I feel completely honored to have had the opportunity

to write a “family focus” article in one of our local magazines.

We wrote the piece toward the end of December

in regards to our New Year’s Resolution.

Instead of making our typical goals,

we decided that we both really needed to

learn the art of being more present

{in our parenting, relationships with others, and in everyday situations}.

We also felt the need to strive for a better balance in our lives —

with some much needed attention on creating more

“mommy time”

to recharge and find brief moments of peace throughout the day.

************************

The Winter Issue was mailed to residents last week.

We are excited to share a few photos of the magazine with you,

as well as, the article itself!

We would love to hear how this topic relates to your own life,

so please leave us a comment & share some of your insight!

Without further ado, here is the article

{thanks for reading!}…

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION:

Learning the Art of Being Present While Balancing Life

Like many of you, this New Year has brought about a renewed commitment to our personal goals. Typically, the two of us have set goals that pertain to exercising more, eating healthier, becoming more organized, or even giving up that {much needed} “Cup of Joe!” This year, our focus is on a complete change in mommy perspective. We are confident that by making this critical shift in our thinking, our behavior will change too, resulting in a more balanced and satisfying life.

As mother’s we hope to create an equilibrium in our lives between meeting {or exceeding, for those of you that are “supermoms”} the needs of our family while still designating time to take care of ourselves to cultivate the person we were before children.  Since we are more nurturing by nature, we tend to meet the needs of our children, significant others, friends, or even our commitments before our own. How many times have you made plans to sneak away for a meal with a friend, or for an exercise class at a gym, only to cancel due to scheduling issues or because of mommy guilt? As mothers we hold ourselves to such high standards and are constantly putting our own needs on the backburner. Over time, this can result in feelings of resentment, depression, and burnout. It is time for a change! Research has repeatedly shown that the happiest women are those that take time out of each day to do something just for themselves {if only for brief moments of stillness}. It is through these daily happiness routines that we become more fulfilled, and in return, can take better care of those around us.

BE MINDFUL

After much soul searching and research, we have found that this sense of fulfilled peace can be obtained through a state of “mindfulness” and balance of our day-to-day activities.

Mindfulness is borrowed from the Buddhist practice of being present and aware of one’s thoughts, actions, and environment. This all begins by learning to breathe. As simple as it sounds, it is instrumental in quickly calming your central nervous system and helping you feel centered, relaxed, and in control. Instead of running through your day with quick, shallow breathing {as we tend to do}, concentrate on deep belly breaths {like you see in babies}. If short on time, simply close your eyes and focus on your breath, if only for a minute.

Once you are cognizant of your breathing, you can move on to other techniques that help you remain more present throughout the day, such as finding short periods of time for mediation. Why not spend a few minutes to yourself each day enjoying a hot shower, going for a walk or run while listening to your favorite music, keeping a gratitude journal, or connecting with something {spiritually} that is greater than yourself? Although small tasks in the grand scale of the day, picking one or two of these can truly help improve your mood and make you more productive.

Whether we are a working or stay-at-home mom, we are all incredibly busy with the daily “runaround” {as we like to call it}. It is so easy to put ourselves in autopilot and go through the day without really absorbing precious moments with our children or appreciating the beauty that’s around us. While with our children, we can learn to become more mindful by turning off our cell phones and the radio in the car. Instead, utilize that time to talk and be truly present.  This can be a great time to find out what is going on in their lives. To practice mindfulness with your children in other situations, simply focus on each interaction with them so you do not get overwhelmed. Stop reading your email or being distracted by another form of technology and show love to them by being present. This could be fixing them a snack {before they ask} and taking it to them, sitting down on the floor to play, or just walking over to them and saying something like, “I just wanted to let you know how much I love you.”

MAKE TIME

Now that you have a heightened sense of your mindfulness, you can focus on the balancing act. A good way to do this is to blend your family time while still taking a moment for yourself. An example of this would be while waiting for your child at speech, indulge in a specialty drink while reading a fashion magazine, or while doing chores around the house, listen to your favorite music.

You can create more time in your day to open up a space for yourself by simplifying your schedule. Look for what you can “undo” in your day and start saying no to requests that do not feel right or drain you of time and energy. In addition, plan a day or two a month where you purposefully let go of your daily “to do” list. Focus on the family time, schedule a spa day, or plan a date night! Remember, no one has ever perished from a messy house, for staying in their pajamas all day, or for a day or evening away from the kids!

Since we typically run our households as mothers, it can be hard to delegate and let go of certain responsibilities and tasks; however, this is crucial for freeing up time. Don’t be afraid to enlist the help of trusting family and friends and utilize your children in assisting you with age appropriate chores around the house.

HAVE FUN

Now that you have found ways to free up some room in your day, make a list of at least 25 things that you truly enjoy doing. This could be finally sitting down to read a book, taking a dance, cooking or yoga class, browsing the aisles of your favorite store, or even walking on a nearby trail or beach. Whether the task is big or small, short or time-consuming, it matters little to your brain. It will all register the same – – time spent on you.

We hope that you will join us in adding this to your list of New Year’s resolutions!  We can’t promise it will happen overnight, or that it will be easy {as life tends to throw us roadblocks along the way}. However, if we learn the art of mindfulness, practice breathing, create more space in the day {by simplifying our schedules}, and add in daily doses of personal time… we are confident that this will result in a calmer, more productive, and happier version of you!

Wishing you mindful moments and balance amongst the chaos! Happy 2013!

Nicole & Sara

{Simply Happenstance}