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Family Time

May 2, 2013

 

:: FAMILY TIME :: 

I’ve been having a hard time accepting how much time my family spends away from each other… whether it’s Husby at work for days at a time at the fire station, or just the kids weekly schedule with school and other activities. As much as I try to soak up quality time with my family during the week, it never seems like we get enough. Our schedule seems consumed by the runaround schedule of drop-offs, pick-ups, homework, and other obligations…. as I guess it would with four children.

So… just over a week ago, Husby and I decided to forget about the never ending to-do list at home and take our two youngest to the beach while our older boys were at school. It seemed horribly wrong to leave Ryan and Seth out of the fun…. but I reminded myself that they had this alone time with us when they were little, too {right?}! We packed up a picnic lunch and headed to one of our favorite secluded spots in Laguna Beach….  

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Family

Magazine Feature

February 15, 2013

 Nicole and I feel completely honored to have had the opportunity

to write a “family focus” article in one of our local magazines.

We wrote the piece toward the end of December

in regards to our New Year’s Resolution.

Instead of making our typical goals,

we decided that we both really needed to

learn the art of being more present

{in our parenting, relationships with others, and in everyday situations}.

We also felt the need to strive for a better balance in our lives —

with some much needed attention on creating more

“mommy time”

to recharge and find brief moments of peace throughout the day.

************************

The Winter Issue was mailed to residents last week.

We are excited to share a few photos of the magazine with you,

as well as, the article itself!

We would love to hear how this topic relates to your own life,

so please leave us a comment & share some of your insight!

 

 

 

 

 

Without further ado, here is the article

{thanks for reading!}…

 

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION:

Learning the Art of Being Present While Balancing Life

Like many of you, this New Year has brought about a renewed commitment to our personal goals. Typically, the two of us have set goals that pertain to exercising more, eating healthier, becoming more organized, or even giving up that {much needed} “Cup of Joe!” This year, our focus is on a complete change in mommy perspective. We are confident that by making this critical shift in our thinking, our behavior will change too, resulting in a more balanced and satisfying life.

As mother’s we hope to create an equilibrium in our lives between meeting {or exceeding, for those of you that are “supermoms”} the needs of our family while still designating time to take care of ourselves to cultivate the person we were before children.  Since we are more nurturing by nature, we tend to meet the needs of our children, significant others, friends, or even our commitments before our own. How many times have you made plans to sneak away for a meal with a friend, or for an exercise class at a gym, only to cancel due to scheduling issues or because of mommy guilt? As mothers we hold ourselves to such high standards and are constantly putting our own needs on the backburner. Over time, this can result in feelings of resentment, depression, and burnout. It is time for a change! Research has repeatedly shown that the happiest women are those that take time out of each day to do something just for themselves {if only for brief moments of stillness}. It is through these daily happiness routines that we become more fulfilled, and in return, can take better care of those around us.

BE MINDFUL

After much soul searching and research, we have found that this sense of fulfilled peace can be obtained through a state of “mindfulness” and balance of our day-to-day activities.

Mindfulness is borrowed from the Buddhist practice of being present and aware of one’s thoughts, actions, and environment. This all begins by learning to breathe. As simple as it sounds, it is instrumental in quickly calming your central nervous system and helping you feel centered, relaxed, and in control. Instead of running through your day with quick, shallow breathing {as we tend to do}, concentrate on deep belly breaths {like you see in babies}. If short on time, simply close your eyes and focus on your breath, if only for a minute.

Once you are cognizant of your breathing, you can move on to other techniques that help you remain more present throughout the day, such as finding short periods of time for mediation. Why not spend a few minutes to yourself each day enjoying a hot shower, going for a walk or run while listening to your favorite music, keeping a gratitude journal, or connecting with something {spiritually} that is greater than yourself? Although small tasks in the grand scale of the day, picking one or two of these can truly help improve your mood and make you more productive.

Whether we are a working or stay-at-home mom, we are all incredibly busy with the daily “runaround” {as we like to call it}. It is so easy to put ourselves in autopilot and go through the day without really absorbing precious moments with our children or appreciating the beauty that’s around us. While with our children, we can learn to become more mindful by turning off our cell phones and the radio in the car. Instead, utilize that time to talk and be truly present.  This can be a great time to find out what is going on in their lives. To practice mindfulness with your children in other situations, simply focus on each interaction with them so you do not get overwhelmed. Stop reading your email or being distracted by another form of technology and show love to them by being present. This could be fixing them a snack {before they ask} and taking it to them, sitting down on the floor to play, or just walking over to them and saying something like, “I just wanted to let you know how much I love you.”

MAKE TIME

Now that you have a heightened sense of your mindfulness, you can focus on the balancing act. A good way to do this is to blend your family time while still taking a moment for yourself. An example of this would be while waiting for your child at speech, indulge in a specialty drink while reading a fashion magazine, or while doing chores around the house, listen to your favorite music.

You can create more time in your day to open up a space for yourself by simplifying your schedule. Look for what you can “undo” in your day and start saying no to requests that do not feel right or drain you of time and energy. In addition, plan a day or two a month where you purposefully let go of your daily “to do” list. Focus on the family time, schedule a spa day, or plan a date night! Remember, no one has ever perished from a messy house, for staying in their pajamas all day, or for a day or evening away from the kids!

Since we typically run our households as mothers, it can be hard to delegate and let go of certain responsibilities and tasks; however, this is crucial for freeing up time. Don’t be afraid to enlist the help of trusting family and friends and utilize your children in assisting you with age appropriate chores around the house.

HAVE FUN

Now that you have found ways to free up some room in your day, make a list of at least 25 things that you truly enjoy doing. This could be finally sitting down to read a book, taking a dance, cooking or yoga class, browsing the aisles of your favorite store, or even walking on a nearby trail or beach. Whether the task is big or small, short or time-consuming, it matters little to your brain. It will all register the same – – time spent on you.

We hope that you will join us in adding this to your list of New Year’s resolutions!  We can’t promise it will happen overnight, or that it will be easy {as life tends to throw us roadblocks along the way}. However, if we learn the art of mindfulness, practice breathing, create more space in the day {by simplifying our schedules}, and add in daily doses of personal time… we are confident that this will result in a calmer, more productive, and happier version of you!

Wishing you mindful moments and balance amongst the chaos! Happy 2013!

Nicole & Sara

{Simply Happenstance}

Filed Under: Family

Happy New Year, to You & Yours!

January 1, 2013

HAPPY NEW YEAR, TO YOU & YOUR LOVED ONES!

So…

I was hoping to prepare a post on New Year’s resolutions for you all today…

the history,

the most common,

why they tend to fail {right?!},

how to set realistic goals,

and one’s worth reaching for.

Unfortunately, we got a bit busy over here…

but not busy in a good way.

It happens….

life happens…

so I’m forced to compromise.

We had an interesting start to our New Year.

After a full day of errands and family visits,

Husby had to rush one of our son’s to the ER due to asthma issues at 2 a.m.

Needless-to-say…

there wasn’t a whole lot of sleeping going on in our house last night!

So, Husby went off to work a 48-hour shift,

and I am writing this piece,

in a state of fog…

eyes half-mast…

{but, on the upside}

our little man is doing a bit better this morning,

and I am sitting here

{as one content mama}

now that I have my much-needed salted soy caramel macchiato in hand!

In the spirit of “keeping things simple”

{as Nicole mentioned we are both trying to do in the coming year},

I will leave you with a beautiful poem

that I was fortunate enough to hear yesterday morning.

After an hour of rigorous hot yoga we ended in my favorite pose…

savasana {corpse pose}

and the yoga instructor recited these lovely words

{The Power of One – Author Unknown}:

One song can spark a moment


One flower can wake the dream

One tree can start a forest

One bird can herald spring

One smile begins a friendship

One handclasp lifts a soul

One star can guide a ship at sea

One word can frame the goal

One vote can change a nation

One sunbeam lights a room

One candle wipes out darkness

One laugh will conquer doom

One step must start each journey

One word must start each prayer

One hope will raise our spirits

One touch can show you care

One voice can speak with wisdom

One heart can know what’s true

One life can make the difference

You see, it’s up to you!

 

Not only was the poem eloquently written, it resonated with me…

sparking a series of thoughts.

In the New Year, I hope to focus on what is in my control

and be the best person that I can be

{in any given moment or situation}.

I tend to be super hard on myself

{as many of us are}.

I am going to try to accept myself for whom I am…

and for where I am at

{both physically and emotionally},

as long as I am trying to be the best version of “me” each day.

We are not in control of what situations life throws at us,

but we do have control over how we react.

No one can make you feel any certain way.

It is all up to you…

YOU decide.

You have control over your emotions and can choose to let things internalize and fester in you – –

or process them, learn the lesson, and move forward.

I hope to stay more present,

soak up the moments that really matter,

give myself a break {as long as I am trying my best},

and focus on how I react to various situations…

hopefully with grace and light

{that can only come from above}.

As the poem states… “one life can make the difference,”

which in my opinion…

all starts with our inner most thoughts and personal perspective.

It can really be that simple.

A change in our thoughts…

results in a change of behavior…

which can positively affect those around us and even the world.

Wishing you all an abundance of peace, happiness and blessings in the New Year…

and let’s not forget, good health, for you and your loved ones!

Happy 2013!

{Image Via: Itsy Factory}

Filed Under: Lovelies

A “Moment” with my Older Boys…

December 5, 2012

I recently had one of those {rare} moments that I think we all share as mothers….

maybe even as parents.

I watched my boys walk into school together after dropping them off at the side gate.

Ryan paused and waited for Seth as he got his backpack placed properly on his shoulders.

They walked into school, side-by-side, chatting and sharing what appeared to be a quiet laugh.

The sun glistened upon them showing off their auburn hair…

you could clearly tell they were brothers.

As I watched them….

for only mere seconds {as I had to keep moving with cars behind me},

I had that “moment” I just mentioned.

It was as if time slowed down and I was able to be completely present and focused on my boys.

I gazed at my children from someone else’s eyes….

not as their mother who was concerned about them getting to school on time,

or the crazy woman I was a bit earlier as I frantically packed their lunches

and prepared four different varieties of breakfast…

I was outside of my body, looking in at my boys from someone else’s vantage point

{perhaps from my subconscious}.

As I drove off, I prayed that God would imprint that precious image of them into my brain.

That He would help me remember their innocence and sweetness at that very moment.

That I could soak it all in and marinade in that feeling of being truly present.

*************************

Life has a way of consuming us and passing by too quickly.

Memories seem to get muddled and blend together.

It gets harder and harder to remember specific details of ordinary days

and special events as the days and years pass.

So, I hold on tightly to what I can…

to those everyday, routine moments that flash before my eyes.

I pray….

and silently BEG that they will stay little longer….

that I can continue to hold them in my arms…

carry them around…

tickle them…

gobble them up with my kisses…

and encourage them with my gentle words.

That they will always look up to me and be proud that I am their mama.

That they won’t shy away from my kisses good-bye and my prayers as they drift off into sleep.

That they will always look at me with love in their eyes

as they tell me I am the best mama in the whole world….

I’m holding on…

and grasping tightly to what I can.

Trying hard to remember to breathe it all in…

and be ever so present so I don’t miss these moments…

Filed Under: Family

Humbled, Present, and Still

October 20, 2012

I am not new to the feelings of mommy guilt.

The feeling usually strikes at least once a day.

There is always something that I imagine I could be doing differently or better.

Sometimes I get frustrated with the monotonous nature of

picking up toys, folding clothes, and organizing clutter all day long,

while preparing what seems to be – – endless meals and snacks.

Not to mention the runaround of school drop-offs, volunteering, errands, and extra-curricular activities.

I tend to hit a wall, usually when my Husby has been working at the fire station for several days on end.

I realize in that moment, that I must let go of all the expectations that I have for myself and be…

humbled, present, and still.

Through my stillness the love, laughter, and silliness of the day seeps into my head.

I am able to focus on what’s truly important in life…..

my family, and taking care of my sweets.

Although I whole-heartedly try to be the very best mother, wife, daughter, and friend….

I do fall short, and that’s okay.

There are many days that I don’t live up to my own expectations.

I am hard on myself….

as I know most mothers truly are.

We try to be supermoms and juggle everything, with strength and grace, that life throws at us.

At the end of the day, when my children are all snuggled up in their beds and sleeping soundly….

I finally relax, and let go.

Humbled, present, and still…..

I accept the day for what it was, and myself for who I am.

I sit and pray that tomorrow brings the freshness of hope, happiness, and the makings of cherished memories

with the four little ones that I love most in this world.

{xo, sara}

Filed Under: Family

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About

bioSara and Nicole are sorority sisters that simply “happened” to end up in the same small town. They have many things in common, which have set the tone of their blog. They hope that you will join them in their journey of motherhood, dreams that may be, the daily life, and their passion for cooking, yoga, fashion, and design!

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