This past week we celebrated Thanksgiving with both sides of the family.
It was great to be able to do this, as my husband has been on shift the past three years.
I love being able to visit with everyone.
It is a nice time to catch up with what is new in their lives, as well as getting to know
the newer, and soon to be, new additions of the family.
All wonderful things to be thankful for.
It is all grand until it is time to sit down for the meal…..
The part in which I dread the most.
My palms sweat and it is time to answer the question,
“What is Mason eating for dinner, where is his plate?”
Uh oh….
The dreaded picky eater…..
My son is a picky eater and has been for the majority of his life.
He is like most kids on the Autism Spectrum, that crave routine and predictability.
This trait goes hand-in-hand with some children that also have a sensory processing disorder.
The sensory component means that he will eat the same few
meals over and over again without a huge fuss.
I know what you think… the kid won’t starve,
but he will, as it is part of this disorder.
Textures and smells create sensory stop signs for these kids.
Loud full houses and having to sit for extended periods of time
is extremely hard for a child who has a hard time sitting in school, let alone
a crowded dinner table
{I myself get overwhelmed after being around too much noise for an extended period}.
More often than not, it is a battle in which their behavior goes from
zero to 60 in 2.5 seconds.
Believe me I have tried it all… heard it all,
but I know as a Mom that we worked very hard with our son
and that this is the smaller piece to a very large puzzle.
As per Lindsey Biel, M.A., OTR/L and Nancy Peske’s book
Raising a Sensory Smart Child, if a child has food related
issues try to avoid food related battles at the family meal
and focus instead on pleasure of the company
{this book is amazing for any child}.
We see an Occupational Therapist for help with Mason’s Sensory Processing Disorder
and with his eating behaviors {thank goodness for Wayne Centra at Karate for All}.
Yes I would love to be that mother whose child eats
all of my homemade food and I wish I could say my son
loves all of his basic food groups, but that is something that
I know is in the far off distance… a work in progress.
I know that a special gluten free and casein free diet works for
some children on the Autism Spectrum, but Mother knows best
{well with the support of an educated therapist… wink wink}
I am just happy that my child is eating food.
It may be considered processed and babysitter like, but it is what is.
Luckily I am able to sneak in nutrients in places where I can.
For now I will be happy for the progress he has made and the
obstacles we have overcome, for they have been great… if not amazing!
So when we pull up a seat at a table please don’t ask,
“Is that what he is eating?”
For I am thankful for the boy he is, and not for how I would like the situation to be.
Our mutual friend Sarah F. shared this with me. This is ME. This is my 4.5 year old daughter! Sensory processing disorder….once thought to be on the spectrum….but since early diagnosis it has been given other names like “anxiety” ….whatever it is….it doesn’t matter but holidays are HARD! Especially with an extended family who thinks its a matter of discipline and not a “real” issue! She lives on Pediasure and plain spaghetti noodles…after 3 years of therapy! Never did I have stress until this child was born…. Eating….shouldn’t that come naturally?! My youngest is picky, too. I dread meal times and feel like I’m failing them half the time! I know it’s not me….but still…you just want your kid to EAT!:). I would be happy if my kids asked for a Happy Meal (something pre-kids I swore I would never feed them and ironically I would be so happy if they asked for one!). Great writing!
I loved reading your blog tonight. I have a child who has those same stop signs when it comes to texture and smell… I also have a family member or two who has an opinion(and a comment)every time we get together for those types of meals. It is nice to hear that I am not alone. I cringe every single time and find myself trying to explain that he is a creature from habbit and mashed potatos have to be mashed a certain way for him to eat them.
Thank you! I will keep this in my mind as we sit down for Christmas dinner.
I hope this eases your anxiety, as many families have to deal with this. It is a hard enough issue alone but it seems with the holidays it becomes a spot light on one’s parenting, which is not the issue at all. Best wishes during this season and I hope you remember this during Christmas dinner as I will have to remind myself as well.
Sincerely,
Nicole
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